Well, as it’s the start of a new year, as is customary, I’m looking back and also looking forward. I’ve not been well over Christmas and the start of the New Year, but I am not allowing myself to use this as an excuse to quit or waiver. I’m back at the gym and enjoying spending time both exercising but also making more new friends.
This morning one of the ladies asked me if I had any pictures of me at the start of this journey. Well, those of you who are overweight will probably feel some connection here when I say I don’t have many photos of me for the last 20 years or so because I hated myself and how I looked. I have however found another howler of a photo taken at my daughter’s baby shower in 2016. Not flattering, and I was so out of my comfort zone but trying really hard to hide it so that the baby shower went well.
To me the difference is not just in the way I look now, but how I feel. The picture above was a selfie I took today.
I wake up now, get dressed immediately and take on the day. I plan what I want to achieve – it doesn’t always get done, don’t get me wrong, we are talking a work in progress here… but I feel positive at the start of the day. Even when I don’t achieve everything, I can usually tick a few things off my list and well, there’s always tomorrow.
Goals
I started this journey wanting to get down to 9 stone. That’s the only goal I had. I don’t know how much I weigh currently, and to be honest, that’s not so important any more. What I have learned is that being healthy and happy are much more important than a number on a piece of equipment.
When I started dieting I couldn’t walk up my stairs at home in one attempt. I had to stop and rest several times and catch my breath. I would come down stairs at the start of the day and not go up again until it was time for bed. Now I could (if I wanted to) run up and down them many times. At the start of the journey I walked 700 steps a day maximum. Now I have a daily minimum target of 5000 steps that I set myself and I want to increase this on a regular basis.
Going to the gym has made me stronger. I can now pull my own body weight using the TRX suspension system in the gym. I use kettle bells and weights during every session. I still struggle to do sit ups and I still can’t jump onto the box or step. BUT, compared to what I was like when I first started, I have grown. When I first entered the gym I was like a rabbit in the headlights. I couldn’t and wouldn’t run during the cardio stations in a workout.
So my goals for 2023 are as follows:
Keep showing up – every day, in every way, giving my best in every situation
Keep trying – every time
Get stronger physically by going to the gym (Minimum of 3 times a week)
Put myself first – self care is important, because once you reach the end of your reserves you will have nothing else to give to anyone
Attempt new things – I will discuss these next time!
So what about you?
What’s your 2023 going to look like?
What are you going to do to make your dreams come true?
Watch this space to find out what I have planned for 2023 and what I achieve. It’s going to be awesome!
Having lost 4 stone in weight over around 12 months I decided it was time to up my game. I may have lost weight but it didn’t look pretty from where I was standing.
I searched the Internet for a personal trainer.
Our first session was as I expected. We discussed my history, medical and otherwise. They wanted to know what my goals were. I now had to brace myself. I was expected to weigh and measure myself every week. But that wasn’t the worst bit! I also had to photograph myself. This wasn’t going to be easy.
On top of that I was still training for my Ultra marathon. My trainer gave me access to an app on my phone and exercises to do. On the app were stored my ‘macros’ – a list of the nutrients I needed to consume every day. I was on a strict diet. This was so different to how I had lost weight so far and I really didn’t like it, but plodded on anyway. I carried on charting my intake using Noom as it was so easy to keep track of what I was consuming.
The next shock was the exercise regime. Bearing in mind I haven’t exercised in over 40 years, to say I was in shock was an understatement.
Even the words were foreign to me. What the heck were burpees, sit ups, mountain climbers and planks? This wasn’t going to be easy. I also lacked the knowledge about doing repetitions and form. I was supposed to do 2 types of workout one day and another 2 the next.
The problem I had was that it was so easy to tick a box and say I had done the exercises. Who would know how honest I had been? If I was getting some results, would my trainer even know? The short answer was no, he wouldn’t. How could he? As long as I ticked those boxes he wouldn’t know how many reps I’d done or what my form was like or if I was doing them in a way that would injure me.
First photo May 2022 FrontLast photo to personal trainer Sept /Oct 2022.
So I did what I was asked for 3 months. I then made the best decision I had made in such a long time. I signed up and joined Everybody Fit, a studio and gym in Preston. This changed my life and I will be forever grateful to the coaches Sally and Cheryl.
This is no normal gym though. Its a community. I attend classes several times a week. The progress I am making is phenomenal. My balance has improved. My strength has improved and my shape is changing.
I no longer use the online trainer. EBF keep me accountable and the community keep me going. I have found my ‘home’ and celebrate my achievements in the gym and review my goals….
Next time I will talk about goals and how they have changed.
So there I was going round and round my house. Its not that big a house, so at this point my neighbours must have thought I had lost the plot. I was like the proverbial hamster going round and around and around. After a few weeks I was up to 2000 steps a day. It was hard at the time, although now I can do so much more. I felt that I would never get to 10,000 steps like everyone says you are supposed to do. (I’ve since found out that that is a random arbitrary number pulled out of the air by persons unknown, of course!).
Lancaster Canal – headed north towards Barton Grange and the Flowerbowl
I wanted to set myself a challenge because we all know that the carrot and stick method works, right? In my family at this point their eyes started rolling. Why? Because I signed up for an ultra marathon. Yes. You can see their eye rolls too can’t you? At this point, it did seem crazy but I don’t like letting people down so I decided to do it for charity, that would keep me focussed. By this time, my Dad’s dementia had progressed and his behaviour was more than I could manage, so he moved into a local care home. I would raise money for the Care Home Comfort Fund. I’d have to do it then, wouldn’t I? So I decided I would have to get out of my comfort zone and walk further afield. So I set about exploring my village and parish to see if I could find walks to do.
Well, I found a few walks. I live near the Lancaster Canal, so that was easy. I also have a great garden centre about a mile away, which was THE most wonderful coffee, so there was my incentive – get that far and you can have a reward. I also found a few walks I won’t be repeating because there are no footpaths on small country lanes and dying before the challenge was not on my agenda. And it worked, eventually! The reason I say eventually is, it took quite a while before I could walk to the garden centre without stopping. There are several benches between our house and the garden centre, so I availed myself of those on more than one occasion. I also discovered a lovely community garden with apples, plums and rhubarb, which brightened my day. It was also a nice place to sit and knit in on my walks – great for my mental health.
So my step count was increasing, and it was regularly 3000 – 4000 a day. But this ultra marathon was 25 kilometres, so I still had loads of work to do. Being a creature of comfort and habit, I decided that the canal was an ideal place to train and I could just walk further each time, but the lure of that coffee, well. Enough said. I got complacent. So I needed another stick and carrot to beat myself with. Ok, Still want the coffee reward, so I will get my long suffering hubby to drive me further up the canal and I will walk back – after all, walking home is a great incentive. This continued for months. Each time, he took me a bridge or drop off further away from home. I got to 8k and this became my regular walk at the weekends.
OK, so I’ve got this sussed, right? Wrong. My darling son (aged well over 21) pointed out a minor detail I had missed. The Ultra Challenge was in the Yorkshire Dales. Not flat, by any stretch of the imagination. So what should I do? I was still not fit. Well my son decided a walk up a hill was in order. Walk – it was a mountain, almost. He didn’t mention coming back down it again. I was a wreck! Perhaps I should drop out of the Ultra? Perhaps I should give up? But I’d promised, it was for charity. I plodded on.
Another view along my canal walk – the pipes do go over the canal!
So July 2022 came. The date of the Ultra was looming. Just before that, my daughter, son-in-law and grandson arrived back in the UK for their summer holidays. They live on Ascension Island in the middle of the Atlantic, To get home they needed to stay in South Africa for a while to change flights. Without realising it, they had contracted Covid-19 whilst on the journey. I picked them up from Heathrow and drove them home (thanks to BA cancelling flights to Manchester at the time). And you can guess where this is going, can’t you?
I drove to Yorkshire, and was feeling decidedly odd. I put it down to my nerves, and the fact that I was super inexperienced. I was certainly very anxious that day. My son was walking the Ultra too, but had registered for 100 kilometres, so he set off before me. I smiled, waved him off, and then as I entered the ‘holding area’ for the next wave of walkers, I had a panic attack. I tried to control my breathing. It wasn’t working. I set off anyway. I was only walking 25 kilometres. I couldn’t let the charity down.
Before I had even left the Pateley Bridge show arena, I was at the back of the group. I was determined, but I wasn’t feeling great. So much conflict within me, but I HAD to do this. I climbed the first hill. I thought I was dying. My chest was tight, my heart rate was through the roof. I had to keep going. Fortunately for me the marshals that work for the Ultra organisation were superb. They noticed I was struggling and they kept an eye on me. I headed off over the heather moors. I face planted in the heather on several occasions. I also found the only bit of bog in the area and sank up to my waist at one point. I kept going.
At around 7 kilometres into the walk, I finally admitted I felt like **** and after talking with an amazing marshal called Dave, I decided to retire. Apparently being able to put one foot in front of the other is pretty much a pre-requisite for completing an Ultra event! We walked around another kilometre and I was picked up and returned to the start, and my car. I was gutted, devastated and felt like an abject failure. I couldn’t understand how, despite all my training, I was such a mess. I drove back across to Lancashire in such a low mood. (My son, bless him, managed to 73 km. I’m so proud of what he achieved). Family suggested I test myself for Covid-19, and there was my answer. That was why I was feeling so rough. And I stayed in bed for 2 weeks after that, I really had caught the lurgy.
About 8 weeks before the Ultra, I started working with a personal trainer, and I will tell you all about that next time… oh, but I promised you a before and during picture, right? So here it is… and I will update you all as I continue on my journey…. Do let me know what you think – comments are greatly received…
Its been a while since I last blogged and whilst I still knit and spin, sadly my Dad passed away in April of this year and I have overhauled my life. As all major life changes do, Dad’s death made me take stock of my life and I came to a rather huge fork in the road. I decided to pull up my big girl pants and start looking after me. I had already started dieting last August and was doing OK, actually, better than ok. I lost 4 stone in weight. I don’t have any pictures of me at my biggest because I hated what I’d become. At 17 stone I was morbidly obese, my health was getting worse and I used to plan my life to avoid stairs (couldn’t get up them without severe difficulty in breathing). Thanks to the pandemic I had shut myself away and was afraid to go out in case I caught ‘it’.
I think you get the gist of my life.
What happened next was inspired by a 100 year old soldier. Most people in Britain will have heard of Captain Tom. During lockdown he made the news by walking up and down his patio. Dad was still alive then. I needed to get him more mobile so suggested he walk around the outside of our house 3 times a day. Well I think you might guess where I’m going with this. Yes. I started walking too. It took me a while and after realising I was only doing 700 steps a day, it became something of a challenge for me. I soon got bored of going round and round the outside of the house and I was convinced my neighbours thought I had lost the plot. I needed to be brave, get a sense of perspective about Covid-19 and start walking further afield.
At the same time I bought an app for my phone called Noom. I realised walking alone wasn’t going to change my bad eating habits and so enlisted the help of Noom. This was a game changer. Not only did it help me track what I was putting in my mouth, the lessons showed me why I was doing it and how I needed to alter my thinking to stop those behaviours. This was August 2021. 17 stone and dropping a pound a week.
I also bought a fitbit watch because I needed to count those steps and I often forgot to carry my phone when walking around. I thought about it long and hard because I’m not used to spending money on me and this seemed like an extravagance. With hindsight I can say its been a really useful tool, spurring me on to increase those steps. Next time I will tell you all about extending my walks. And perhaps show you a picture of how much I have changed so far. I’m warning you though, its big. See you next time!
So despite spinning and knitting it turns out I needed to do something else during lockdown! I rediscovered sewing and have made a few things.
In no particular order:
These are just a few things. There are 4 Tulip tops in total, multiple sun hats, loads of face masks and wash bags to put them in.
On top of that there is the knitting:
And then there’s the obligatory cooking:
Two soups – leek and potato, cream of mushroomBread made with chapati flour
At the beginning of lockdown and for months into it, stockpiling and shortages were common. I managed to get yeast but could only get large sacks of chapati flour. I’ve become pretty good at bread even though I say so myself.
Without rehashing everything, I just wanted to explain why I no longer support or have a presence on Ravelry.
A little while ago they decided to refresh and update their site. As an early adopter, I got excited to see the new look. However, …..
I opened the new look site and within seconds was getting a visual migraine. The screen was full of dancing rainbows and my brain could not take the overload. I have found that when this happens I have to take to my bed. It took days for this to stop. My condition had been medically diagnosed by a neurological consultant in the NHS several years previously but it hadn’t been triggered like this before.
They had continued this harm in their survey by linking back to the site.
Their moderators shut down conversations. I wrote to them. I tweeted. Still nothing. One of the founders basically told us that we were lying, on Twitter, and that a doctor had told them we were being hysterical.
Today 30/07/2020 they issued an apology and said that the founder who had said these things was having their email taken off them. Whilst I’m glad that they have at last apologised, and done so on a non-harming site, for me, it’s too little too late.
My patterns are available on Payhip and I’ve joined the discussion groups on Mighty Networks.
Just because a site is free, doesn’t mean it has the right to harm people. Over the years I’ve spent a lot on Ravelry by advertising my handspun yarn, my patterns etc., and buying patterns from other designers. This will no longer be the case.
I usually try to write positive things on this blog, but not today. Sadly we have learned of the passing of one of our elderly relatives. The anger I have right at this moment is because I’m trying to explain to my Dad why he can’t attend a funeral, and seeing the pain etched on his face.
I hate the changes this virus has brought on our lives. I hate that my Dad is muddled and doesnt quite grasp stuff.
I know this too shall pass, but right now it hurts.
Well. One year on from my most recent posts, I’m back to blogging. Most if not all of us have heard of Covid19. My elderly father lives with us and I have asthma so we are currently isolating ourselves. This is a step further than our usual lives, where we were living very quietly, with an occasional outing to a coffee shop or garden centre.
My daily life consists of a regular routine for my Dad, cooking, and domestic chores with my great love of knitting keeping me sane and occupied. I’m intending on posting my finished objects here partly as a record of what I’ve achieved, but if it inspires you too, so much the better. If you see anything here that you fancy, it’s mostly for sale at around the price of the cost of the yarn. I’m only looking to keep my local yarn shop in business and myself out of mischief.
This is one of the completed items in Ysolda Teagues Colourwork Club. She carries some great yarns, give her website a visit and order from her if you can.
Another of my yarn heroes is Kate who is the owner of Northern Yarn in my closest town. (Close being a vague term here, its 17 miles away). I’m going to try to buy regularly from her online during this period. Today I received a small circular needle. It’s only 30cm long but is great for socks and hats. It’s made by ‘addi’ in Germany and I have various sizes now. Today’s is 4mm needle size. I knit hats for local maternity units in this size using double knitting yarn.
I also got a book on Fairisle knitting. I will be reviewing this in a few days time when I’ve had a chance to look at it properly.
So that’s me signing off for today. See you all tomorrow! Keep your chin up, and happy knitting.
Knitting has often been used in protest – you only have to look at yarn bombing as an example. Over recent months, the knitting world has seen more commentary on gender, Identity, race and recently Ravelry’s stance of banning support for Donald Trump on their site.
My parents brought me up to believe that we are all equal and that our differences were to be celebrated but not feared. I’ve lived in many countries and always tried to integrate into the local community rather than the ‘white expatriate’ community. I thank my parents for this.
I’m posting this to make a stand. No matter your colour, creed, gender or difference to me, you are welcome here and those who pick on these people are not welcome.
Knitting socks is something you love or hate. It’s a marmite kind of thing. Some people don’t see the point, others become converts once they’ve worn them, and others want to knit nothing else.
I taught myself to knit socks top down many years ago using a little key ring kit. I was a novice knitter and didn’t know they were supposedly difficult. Since then I’ve knitted a pair every now and again, and for a brief period I knitted socks at the pace of a pair a week when I travelled to work by bus.
I recently won a skein of yarn in an Instagram giveaway. The dyer was Dyeforewe. The skein was soft and squishy. I have started using small needles (9″ I think). For some reason socks seem to go so much faster on these rather than double pointed needles and I’ve completed these:
I’m really pleased for a variety of reasons.
1) I didn’t have to pay for the yarn
2) It was gorgeous to knit with
3) The needles mean that there are no jogs or uneven tension as there are no breaks between needles. I love these socks.
I think I can happily say that my sock mojo has returned. Next challenges are toe up construction and more heavily patterned designs. What sort of socks do you like knitting? Any patterns you’d recommend?
Knatters Knits Blog 